Knock Knock

by iGanja 10. March 2006 04:29

Knock knock

 

“Who’s there?”

 

Orange.

 

Orange who?”

 

Orange you glad Charles Cullen got another life sentence?

 

Just as I supposed, the state of Pennsylvania did indeed tack on some (life without possibility of parole) time to this guy’s already exaggerated sentence fromNew Jersey, for murdering another 7 people in their state.

 

And now, of course, the good and the bad of it: at least Pennsylvaniahas the rational sense to simply send the guy to prison “for the rest of your life,” which is really just a humane way of saying “I sentence you to death by natural causes, or by anal elongation, whichever comes first.”  But, didn’t I also say that simply pilling on this guy would do nothing to console the victims’ families?  After the hearing, Schramm's daughter, Kristina Toth, said the sentence provided no closure.”  What a surprise!

 

The families will get one more opportunity to see, and loathe and possibly cast disparaging remarks at, the “Killer Nurse” before he is crated off to New Jersey to spend the next 11 lifetimes (with time off for good behavior, of course,) after which he will finally be made to serve his sentence in the land of Penn.  Better make it a good one!  This kind of therapy only comes along once every 397 ½ years…

 

Oh, I ganja

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What a surprise!

by iGanja 7. March 2006 04:27

The jails are (over) crowded!  No doubt by felonious pot smokers.  Don’t you feel safer knowing our government spends literally millions of your tax dollars each year hunting down prosecuting and incarcerating these dangerous criminals?  Three cheers for Steven Kubby!  I will vote for you again!

 

On a higher note, although I have no optimism judging from the current makeup of our Supreme Court, but they will indeed re-examine the federal ban on ganja as it applies to its medical use.

 

Pack your bags people, we’re all moving to Oregon!

 

Oregon too cold and wet for ya?  Nevada might soon be even nicer!

 

stonerbear.jpg

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How about “you just ain’t gonna get out”?

by iGanja 2. March 2006 04:18

What is it with our fascination with long prison sentences?  I mean, anything over 60 years is essentially life.   What is up with a 397 ½ year sentence?  Does that mean the guy is even worse than say a guy that gets only 350 years?  Do the families of the multiple victims get to figure which of the nearly 20 score of years is in reparations for their loss?

 

N.J. Killer Gets 11 Life Sentences

 

It truly is a waste of so much of our time, dollars, resources and even piece of mind to go through these ridiculous motions of trying a guy for all 22 murders to which he fully admits.  And what of the murders, again to which he has admitted to, in other jurisdictions?  Will the additional 150 year sentence in those states be of such profound consolation to the families of those victims?  How we coddle our grieving citizenry, akin to so much of the new age PC rhetoric, so not to offend.

 

Let’s spend more money on this piece of shit!

 

The fact is the additional 330 plus years tacked on to this guy’s term will do nothing to console the families.  It simply makes for a nice headline, and helps to establish just how really really bad this guy is.  Yippee!  “You’ve just been handed the longest sentence in New Jersey state history.  What are you gonna do next?”

 

I say we sentence the fucker like so:  “You are a very bad man, and have committed the ultimate crime against humanity.  You will not be rehabilitated!  You shall live the rest of your god forsaken life imprisoned by those you have wronged.”  If it were me on the bench, I’d add “…and in your next life may you be endlessly fucked in the ass by a donkey!”

 

Oh, I ganja!

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Step One…

by iGanja 28. February 2006 04:15

Give the moral minority, quasi vigilante fanatics more legitimacy by ruling that the federal government has no jurisdiction to protect those exercising their right to choose; a right expressly granted to them by the same.

 

February 27, 2006 - Supreme Court Decision

 

On the surface, this may appear as if the government is actually limiting itself, and checking itself as our forefathers envisioned.  Not intruding on the lives of its citizens with overbearing/overprotective statutes intended to control the masses; giving the states more autonomy and responsibility to maintain order and protect the public.

 

This appears to be a Libertarian’s wet dream!  So, what’s the issue then?  Well, I’m glad you asked.  This is a problem created by the feds!  By ruling in favor of Roe in 1973, the Supreme Court established a reciprocal need to protect those citizens exercising their right to choose and took on the constitutional responsibility to protect those that do.  With today’s decision, the Supreme Court has essentially said, “well, you have that right, but use it at your own risk.”

 

south dakota wedding.jpgSo what will the states do with this new responsibility?  Well in South Dakota, they may very well outlaw choice altogether, thereby eliminating the responsibility to protect those wishing to, and in fact, making it a crime to do so.  In fact they already have legislation in the works to do just that.  South Dakota Challenges Roe v. Wade

 

Step Two…

 

Pass a law that is clearly unconstitutional in an effort to bring it before the Supreme Court once again.  The Supreme Court does not make law, that much is certain, but in this case, all they have to do is wait around for someone who can to make one.  And now, with the balance of power in the Supreme Court clearly on the “conservative” side, is it any stretch to think that Roe v Wade may soon be overturned?

 

Step Three…

 

Regulate the production and sale of wire coat hangers!  Hey, maybe Joan Crawford had something there…

 

I don’t want to imagine what kinds of horrible stories are to come from the repealing of the constitutional right to choose.  If you think the pictures of bloody fetal material with captions stating that “this is a human being” are bad enough, wait till the gruesome picture needs no such caption except to remind us that perhaps one death really IS better than two!

 

Oh, I ganja

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Free investment advice given here!

by iGanja 24. February 2006 04:13

All of you who decided to dump their shares of H&R Block after my endorsement of TurboTax.com can all thank me.  After hitting a 15 month high only last June, H&R Block (HRB) stock hit a 52 week low today on news that the supposed tax preparation experts themselves goofed on their own taxes!  woops!

 

oh, I ganja!

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I've Been Duped!

by iGanja 18. February 2006 04:09

For years I have been educating my friends about the evils of forwarding emails, just for the sake of “passing it on.” Chain letters, if you will.  The purpose of which is to simply get you to send it to all your friends and relatives and further clog up the internet with pointless email.

 

I have been almost brutal at times.  Chastising them for repeated offenses; sending me forwards of jokes with headers long enough to choke a donkey.  All the cc’s from past forwards clearly visible in the text of the 15th generation of this, if I’m very lucky, mildly funny joke.

 

Imagine my mortification when, after forwarding a call to anyone in the market for a puppy, to find that the whole story of the puppy’s ultimate demise if nobody wanted them was a complete hoax, not to mention, been around the internet since 2002!  Read About It

 

eye-worm.jpgAs punishment I ate a worm, but curiously it found its way to my eye socket, and had to be surgically removed.

 

Anyway, this is my confession, and to all my friends who have felt my wrath over sending me a email forward, I say, I’m not sorry!  You still deserved it.  Just because even the best of intentions still occasionally ends in forwarding a hoax, doesn’t mean you are all off the hook.  It means we must be even more diligent in our efforts to stop the proliferation of crap email from choking our internet!  We can end this senseless cycle of stupidity!

 

 

Bottom line, if in the email itself it says to forward to all your friends…. DON’T!  It is a scam, and that is its sole purpose; to get you to send it along.  Always check Urban Legends or Snopes before even thinking of forwarding anything.

 

I am ashamed…

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Had the vice president had better aim…

by iGanja 15. February 2006 17:33

cheney2.jpgSilly me, I thought birds flew in the air.  If Cheney had even slightly better aim, and we’re talking very slight, he’d have shot the guy square in the neck and head and may have killed the poor lawyer immediately!  Although, I’d say one less lawyer in the world wouldn’t be so bad.  Did you hear the one about the busload of lawyers driving off a cliff?  Yeah, that one always gets me…  Anyway, so now that Cheney has been persuaded to finally come clean to the public from pressure by the media (see they can be good for something once in a great while,) will he answer any questions regarding his possible indictment, if this guy does end up dieing due to complications from being shot?  Does it matter how many times Cheney apologizes and/or wishes the old guy well and a “speedy recovery” if he ends up dieing?  I wonder, will we find out that he was actually in very poor health in the first place?   Or maybe that he was suffering form some terminal illness already?  At what point do we say that the cause of death was not being shot with up to 200 pellets of lead?  At the very least, Cheney has measurably shortened this guy’s life!  Michele says that “hunting accidents” are not criminally prosecutable.  They are in fact “accidents.”   I disagree.  If the “accident” was caused by absolute stupidity and negligence, then it should be, nay must be, criminal.  I can’t help but think that if it were any average Joe or Jane blow citizen, they’d be locked up awaiting trial right now.  This kind of double standard makes me sick.

 

Read About It

 

Is it any wonder why Cheney is “famously reluctant to speak to the media”?  It is, in fact, that there simply aren’t enough spin doctors in Washington to keep ahead of him and all the other complete morons now infesting our federal government.  Hell, the good ones are all kept busy trying to make Donald Rumsfeld sound intelligent, which is a full fucking time job for a teeming hive of public relations carpet baggers.  So, poor Dick Cheney must wait almost five days before Washington can organize a “pre-recorded” (which is just a euphemism for edited beyond recognition,) press conference, that is cleverly advertised as an interview, to “explain” to the American people just why, even though he is a republican (which automatically entitles him to NRA support,) he can’t handle a gun without shooting one of his good buddies.  Or why he doesn’t know the difference between foul (as in lawyer) and fowl.

There has to be a joke in here somewhere in reference to our last dumbshit vice president Dan Quayle and Dick Cheney’s quail accident, but it alludes me at this time…  20$ to anyone who can put these two together to make a laughable joke.

oh, I ganja

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A word on Tax preparation…

by iGanja 9. February 2006 17:31

Okay, I must give credit where credit is due.  Michela convinced me (although it took only a minute of pushing to get me to check it out) to try TurboTax.com to do my taxes this year.

 

For the past 6, or so, years now, I have been packing up all my receipts, property tax bills, 1099s, W2s, auto registration renewals, mortgage interest statements and proof of citizenship, and trucking it all over to my friend Lisa’s house in Long Beach, just so she can plug all my numbers into her computer and have it spit out a red or black number at me, indicating whether I experience the pain of paying more or the pleasure of getting back some of my hard earned (watch it everyone!) money.

 

As much as I adore Lisa, it always seemed to me a fairly painless process once the computer had all the info (of which I had to compile myself anyway…) to do my taxes.  In fact, Lisa almost always commented on just how straight forward mine were to do.  In fact, I felt the same way, even when I was doing them by hand and calculator.  The biggest burden was in fact getting it all together, coordinating a time with Lisa and trucking it to Long Beach.

 

Okay, so this year was quite different.  Although I still had to compile all the info, I nary had to get dressed to do my taxes this year.  Entered turbotax.com in by trusty browser and off I went.  Clicked on Get Started under the Premier option (I need a schedule C,) created a log in and a monkey.gifpassword, and simply followed the prompts from there.  I even filed electronically, and I’m having my refunds directly deposited into my bank account!  Being a paid internet professional, I’ve seen my share of websites.  Some good, some not so good; very few would I consider excellent.  TurboTax.com, however, pushes the limits of what a usable website should be.  Seriously, even a monkey could do it!

 

 

Okay, so, taxes suck, but since we all have to do them, might as well find the most painless way.  Seriously, this could put H&R Block out of business.

 

oh, I ganja!

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To err is human…

by iGanja 7. February 2006 17:27

Not Muslim, or Jewish, or Christian, but human.  We all make mistakes.  What defines a civilized people is how we deal with those mistakes.  If one day I find myself in the left hand lane wanting to turn right, and suffer a momentary laps of judgment and try to do so, should I then be condemned to die for it?  Should I be beheaded for the insult I have cast upon the right lane traveling public?

 

Do civilized people really believe that a human being, alive on this world for say 30+ years, with a family, a mother and father, kids of their own, and people who love them, deserves to be beheaded (of all things) for a single cartoon?  The real answer is No.  There are in fact no civilized people who believe this.

 

The truth hurts doesn’t it?  I find it so amazing that those who we find wanting usually live up (or down in this case) to the very characterizations of which we accuse them.  Is it merely coincidence that the Muslim community resorts to violence when insulted by a depiction of them as violent?  How will the rest of the world ever see them any other way?  The sad fact is the world will never see them as anything but innately vengeful people incapable of diplomacy, acceptance or forgiveness.

 

It is simply fantasy to think that there will ever be peace in this part of the world.  A people so entrenched in religious obedience calling for the killing of innocent people to pay reparations for some stupid cartoons is simply barbaric.  Are we as a species doomed to annihilate ourselves over a question of which not a single person on the planet knows the answer?  I fear God would find that to be the ultimate sin.

 

 

oh, I ganja, not!

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Is it Groundhog day again?

by iGanja 2. February 2006 17:02

Punxsutawney Phil, famous weather prognosticator from Pennsylvania, came out of hibernation today, just as he has for over 100 years, to again let the winter forecasting challenged in on the secret of how much longer we will be bundled up indoors.  He did indeed see his shadow on this rather warm February morning, and as he has nearly 90% of the time predicted that winter will last another 6 weeks.  Me personally, I usually just figure spring will start on March 21st each year, and curiously enough, I’m almost always right!

 

phil.jpg 

All kidding aside, the whole notion that a rodent (also called a woodchuck; yes the very same of which we wonder how much wood he could chuck if he actually could chuck wood,) could possibly forecast weather is a bit absurd.  It’s simply "something to do in the middle of the winter," says National Weather Service forecaster Mike Rusnack.  What endears me to the um, holiday, and the number of celebrations around the wintry eastern United States is how much fun it is just to get together as a community and do something silly; drink hot alcoholic beverages, sing songs, dance and keep each other warm in unique and inventive ways.  Why the hell not!

 

 

Oh, this just in…  It seems Phil has a distant cousin from West Virginia, Blennerhassett Bubba, who apparently doesn’t like that Phil has garnered so much national attention with this whole Groundhog Day thing.   After having his motion to have Phil cease and desist all weather forecasting activities summarily denied, Bubba decided to take matters into his own hands, er claws.  Seen here in a video frame capture,

bubba.jpg

Bubba appears to be emulating the now infamous video of Osama Bin Laden firing his favorite tool of peace and persuasion.  This is a disturbing development indeed.  Better get that damn Patriot Act thingy extended, and in a hurry!  It’s rodents like these that threaten the very fabric of our society and way of life!

oh, I ganja!

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Oh, I Ganja

When something becomes clear, when a wrong is righted, when vengeance is yours. It doth not matter when, where or why. It is an epiphany, the clairvoyance to conjure up the stolen data tapes, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to go do, that voodoo, that you do, so well. When we finally see past the layers of muck and grim our society has cloaked itself in, we exclaim "Oh, I Ganja!"

Let us not hide our heads in the proverbial sand. Let us question everything and seek enlightenment in answers. But wait, there's more! If you act now, we may even sprinkle in some truth with those answers...

Oh, I Ganja!

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